Category Archives: Revision

Killing My Darlings – Advice from Stephen King and How to Use It

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Nearly everyone has heard Stephen King’s advice, “Kill you darlings.” Most how-to books will tell you that your darlings are ly words or anything used in place of “said” but there is more to it than that.

We all have words that we use often. We say them, we write them. In the context of short bursts, such as articles, blogs, or short stories, writers and readers may not notice the repetitive nature of the prose. I’ve had a lot of short stories critiqued and no one has ever caught me. Even using things like, yWriter’s word use tool wasn’t enough to make me notice my over use of certain words.

Then I had the critique group got through my first completed novel.

This is one of the many reasons why this group is awesome. In my longer work, word repetition stuck out like a sore thumb, and they noticed. Every time one of the critiques said, hey, this word is used a lot, I wrote it down. These were my darlings and they needed staking something bad.

Going back over my short stories revealed the same problems, from the same list. Without a list of my darlings, my short stories were suffering as well.

Find out what your darlings are and murder them. You’ll probably need someone else to help you find them. I definitely did. Combine your list of darlings with the various darlings that how-to books mention and you will tighten your prose. This includes killing ly words that you can live without, exclamation points, stick with said, clichés, over use of and &but, and anything else you or some you respect finds horrible.

Here’s my list:

  • A bit
    First
    Small
    Little
    Came
    Come
    Began to
    A moment
    Just
    Large
    Look
    Stood
    Was
    Started to
    Know
    Knew
    For a minute
    Quickly
    So
    going

I used some of these words in this post, I know. Much revision needed.

Loving Revisions

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I’ve been hip deep in revisions for a few months now. For me, this is one of the best parts of writing. Striking through words, sentences and even paragraphs.

Going through WH is hard enough. I’ve been working on this story for almost ten years now. I can’t even see the mistakes, typos, or leaps in logic that need to be fixed. That’s why I decided to start with this one with the critique group. I needed line edits, not because I thought it was done, but because I couldn’t see what needed editing. Doing the actual revision has taught me a few things.

1. Someone needs to look at this.

I cannot tell you how invaluable critiquing is for a story to work. Without another set of eyes, you can miss typos, get your facts wrong and totally screw up the plot. As a writer, you starting filling in details you know but many have never actually wrote down. The only cure for this is for another set of eyes to look at your work. Even after revisions get some folks to read it all the way through, in case you missed something.

2. Music

Having something to listen to other than people, Muzak, or construction is imperative. I have a battle mix I save just for writing. It contains fast songs with upbeat messages. Whatever your tastes are you will want to have some way to drown out the noise you don’t want. This gets you into the zone while writing and revising.

3. Love your revisions

Change is for the better and in many cases, your darlings must go. Darlings aren’t just for ly words. They are also first chapters, phrases, characters, mannerisms, actions, scenes and endings. If you love it and no one else does, kill it. Everyone’s darlings are different. I’ll have a post on my own darlings when I get through this revisions. Write down what you get rid of, because you’ll want to check future stories for these same problem children.

Revisions are unavoidable. Whether you need one or twenty, you have to commit to making the best story you can. The only way to do that, is through revision.

Too Many Characteritis

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Too many characteritis is a disease that each author must work their way through. You have a scene and you inject a character, maybe for comic relief, maybe for drama. They may be throw away or a character you plan to have come in later. But do you need them?

I have this problem myself. Characters throw in because I need something done seem like a good idea but really their function could be accomplished using a character that is already established.

By using a character you’ve used before, you give that character a deeper history within the story. This rounds them out, lets you explore who they are and how they fit in the story.

What characters are extraneous? Well, ask yourself a few things.

  • Will they be back?
  • What are they doing that no other character can do?
  • How does the scene they’re in add to the story?
  • Do you need that scene?

If you answered no or nothing to any of those questions then you might need to cut that character out. In my book I have a scene where the main character is shopping. She has to deal with the mother of another character who owns the shop. That character never comes back but her son is in the scene and plays an important role later. The solution is to take her out and just use her son. He’s already been introduced and he’ll be back later. The mother never comes back, she doesn’t add to the story at all.

So out comes my story scalpel and I cut her out of the book. I keep her details in my world-building document. She may come up later in another work, or when her son talks about her. Never throw away tidbits you surgically remove. They are part of your world if not your story. Who knows when you might need them later.

Chasing Details

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One of the most difficult things about revisions is dealing with what isn’t there. Finding the details that need to be changed if you’ve taken something out is often harder than changing things that result from putting something in.

Here’s an example. In my current work, Spark, a steampunk novel, one of my characters is being held captive by some island natives. In the original scene, the local shaman comes in holding a large basket. He sets it down to listen to some dialogue back and forth, then settles in to do a ritual in the cell, involving fire and knives. Then he picks up the basket and walks out again.

Well, I decided this ritual was both too important and too space-consuming to be done INSIDE the cell where our hero is being held. So I moved it outside. The part of the scene that remained in the cell was the conversation. So here’s how it ended up: shaman walks in, conversation, shaman walks out, THEN ritual. That makes sense, right?

But it took me three read-throughs to realize that my shaman put down the basket for the conversation, then picked it up again, for no apparent reason. This is not a heavy basket. Nor does anybody need both hands for the conversation – it’s just not that intimate. So my shaman, a muscled, tattooed fellow with glowy blue ink inscribed in his skin, sets down a perfectly ordinary basket like a jerk, only to pick it up again once the talking is done.

Sure, it’s a basket. That’s not a big deal, but it could have been a knife, in which case our hero would have had every opportunity to grab it and make a try for escape. If he didn’t do so, then my hero looks like the jerk. Could be big!

So whenever you take something out, or move something around, it can be difficult to find all the little details that were changed by the change. Today’s lesson – revisions are hard!

Revised revision

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I’ve learned that one of the rules of writing is to Finish What You Start.

That’s a terrible rule. For me. I’m great at starting things, not so great at finishing. I’ve been working hard to overcome that particular failing of mine.

But there is this little voice in me that says, Oh, but your story will be so much better if you change it.

BACK! BACK, DEMON!

animetowen-concept

I originally started my current project as a Personal Novel Writing Month one hot July. I had great fun with it, but then I made a mistake. I decided it was good enough to try for publishing when I finished it. So, two-thirds through the project, I scrapped it and started over. The Great Rewrite.

Now, two years and a two-year-old later, I’m stuck on the project again. Stuck hard. I know where the story should go, but I can’t seem to get it there. In comes that little voice . . .

Just a small change. Try switching POVs.

headdesk

I’ve gone and done it – I’m going through the manuscript line by line changing from 1st person to 3rd limited. I’m hopeful, because it seems to be working. I’m enjoying myself again . . . but I need all the luck and encouragement I can get to keep pushing through to the end. I have decided not to bother my critique group with “Blue Tiger” again until it’s finished. Let’s hope I can last that long!